{"title":"New Year's Eve Creepers and Oddments","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen in the dim beginning of the years,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGod mixed in man the raptures and the tears\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd scattered thru his brain the starry stuff,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe said, “Behold! Yet this is not enough…”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e– Edwin Markham\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"auld-lang-swine-perfume-oil","title":"Auld Lang Swine Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"afterpay-paragraph\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAULD LANG SWINE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/auld-lang-swine-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOnce in a while, I am truly at a loss for words.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOat porridge and cream, smoky treacle, clove bud, crushed sugar cookies, and pink currants.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/auld-lang-swine-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Oat porridge and cream, smoky treacle, clove bud, crushed sugar cookies, and pink currants.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485337374876,"sku":"NeyYears25-1","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/auld_lang_swine_-_NYE_2025_LABEL.jpg?v=1772907618"},{"product_id":"catching-the-post-perfume-oil","title":"Catching the Post Perfume Oil","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCATCHING THE POST \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/catching-the-post-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHere’s hoping 2026 is less an endless replay of spectacular wipeouts and fail videos and more a year that finally sticks the landing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLeather tack, saddle soap, bay rum, carmine wool, black silk, crushed winter grass, a billowing cascade of pipe tobacco, and a shot of adrenaline.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/catching-the-post-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"quantity\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/form\u003e","brand":"Leather tack, saddle soap, bay rum, carmine wool, black silk, crushed winter grass, a billowing cascade of pipe tobacco, and a shot of adrenaline.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485346025628,"sku":"NewYears25-2","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/catchingthepost-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908046"},{"product_id":"cock-soccer-perfume-oil","title":"Cock Soccer Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCOCK SOCCER\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/cock-soccer-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWishing you and your cocks a happy new year.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRed peppercorns and gingersnaps.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/cock-soccer-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Red peppercorns and gingersnaps.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485347565724,"sku":"NewYears25-3","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/cock_soccer_-_NYE_2025_LABEL.jpg?v=1772908156"},{"product_id":"gardez-l-eau-perfume-oil","title":"Gardez L’Eau Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGARDEZ L'EAU \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/Gardez-leau-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMay you skillfully dodge all of life’s chamberpots while the blessings of the new year splash upon ya. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eClean snowmelt touched with lemon peel, clover leaves, sugared almonds, and glimmering amber coins.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\" method=\"post\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/gardez-leau-perfume-oil\/\" class=\"cart\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Clean snowmelt touched with lemon peel, clover leaves, sugared almonds, and glimmering amber coins.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485348253852,"sku":"NewYears25-4","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/gardezleau-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908202"},{"product_id":"kitty-s-little-love-affair-perfume-oil","title":"Kitty’s Little Love Affair Perfume Oil","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eKITTY'S LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/kittys-little-love-affair-NYE-20.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA scandalous affair between silk-furred conspirators: tails entwined beneath tables, furrrrtive glances stolen and held too long, stolen hours, arched backs, and the scent of unfamiliar catnip rubbed on jeweled collars. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAn indolent purr of cream-soaked shortbread biscuits, cracked cardamom, pink pepper, smoked vanilla bean, and cocoa powder.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/kittys-little-love-affair-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product_meta\"\u003e\n\u003clabel class=\"screen-reader-text\" for=\"quantity_69ac6bfa67090\"\u003e\u003c\/label\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"An indolent purr of cream-soaked shortbread biscuits, cracked cardamom, pink pepper, smoked vanilla bean, and cocoa powder.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485348614300,"sku":"NewYears25-5","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/KITTY_SLITTLELOVEAFFAIR-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908348"},{"product_id":"new-year-new-monkey-business-perfume-oil","title":"New Year, New Monkey Business Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNEW YEAR, NEW MONKEY BUSINESS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/new-year-new-monkey-business-NYE.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGolden hay and sun-warmed straw, soft brown fur musk, ripe banana peel and green fig, steamed rice and almond milk, mimosa blossom, and pale yellow chrysanthemum.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/new-year-new-monkey-business-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Golden hay and sun-warmed straw, soft brown fur musk, ripe banana peel and green fig, steamed rice and almond milk, mimosa blossom, and pale yellow chrysanthemum.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485348712604,"sku":"NewYears25-6","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/NEWYEAR_NEWMONKEYBUSINESS-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908404"},{"product_id":"new-year-s-eve-party-pigs-perfume-oil","title":"New Year’s Eve Party Pigs Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY PIGS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/new-years-party-pigs-NYE-2025-we.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoldog ujevet! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBubblegum musk, fermented plum, and strawberry brandy in a white candyfloss-dusted fairy ring of ruby-capped mushrooms and marshmallow cream.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/new-years-eve-party-pigs-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Bubblegum musk, fermented plum, and strawberry brandy in a white candyfloss-dusted fairy ring of ruby-capped mushrooms and marshmallow cream.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485349302428,"sku":"NewYears25-7","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/new_years_eve_party_pigs_-_NYE_2025_LABEL.jpg?v=1772908433"},{"product_id":"oh-you-chestnut-perfume-oil","title":"Oh You Chestnut Perfume Oil","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"afterpay-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOH YOU CHESTNUT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/oh-you-chestnut-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI’m honestly not sure if this is actually a New Year’s card, but for the sake of this project, let’s say it is. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour ancient ones are welcome?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I misunderstood the card when I first saw it, and my brain translated it to an invocation to the Great Old Ones, Outer Gods, Elder Gods, or Dreamlands’ Great Ones, so let’s run with that, too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis scent is no mere nut of hearth and harvest, but a squamous chestnut, born of ancient groves whose roots knot through strata older than memory, necrophagous and ravenous, sucking nutrients from long-buried carrion. A whiff of roasted shell, scorched coffee bean, and smoldering husk billowing in tenebrous clouds of nutty, cacodaemonical incense. Beneath this lies a resinous sweetness, dry and fungal, as though the chestnut had ripened not beneath familiar suns but under a swollen, unwholesome moon.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA paean to the dad jokes that the King in Yellow tells his kids, this chestnut’s warmth carries the faint echo of a pun told too many times and the comforting dread of knowing the punchline before it lands.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003clabel class=\"screen-reader-text\" for=\"quantity_69ac6bfe5050c\"\u003e\u003c\/label\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/oh-you-chestnut-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e","brand":"A paean to the dad jokes that the King in Yellow tells his kids, this chestnut’s warmth carries the faint echo of a pun told too many times and the comforting dread of knowing the punchline before it lands.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485349367964,"sku":"NewYears25-8","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/ohyouchestnut-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908480"},{"product_id":"treaty-of-thorns-perfume-oil","title":"Treaty of Thorns Perfume Oil","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"summary entry-summary\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 class=\"product_title entry-title\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTREATY OF THORNS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/treaty-of-thorns-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWar of the Roses? Not anymore! After years of fragrant hostilities, BPAL’s Reigning Yule Queens, Snow White and Rose Red, lay down their arms.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTwo beloved Yule blends are bound together at last: frost-bright petals and deep, blood-warm rose, entwined with winter air and the green snap of freshly cut stems. A hard-won peace, sealed in perfume: cold beauty and velvet warmth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/treaty-of-thorns-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"social-share\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Two beloved Yule blends are bound together at last: frost-bright petals and deep, blood-warm rose, entwined with winter air and the green snap of freshly cut stems. A hard-won peace, sealed in perfume: cold beauty and velvet warmth.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485349400732,"sku":"NewYears25-9","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/treatyofthorns-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908537"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/collections\/cock-soccer-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1775404059","url":"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/collections\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments.oembed","provider":"Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab","version":"1.0","type":"link"}