Lupercalia 2024

To be protected by the toughness and durability of love, while remaining connected to its rawness and tenderness… that is the sacred quest, is it not? And yet, so often it seems like we’re only capable of feeling one of these things at a time.

This makes sense when you remember that the heart’s chambers don’t beat in unison. They work in concert, though each has its own function. We experience wholeness and disparity in every instant — built for regularity but easily lured into quickening, prone to delirious nonsensical spasms.

Eros is a deep well that we never fully crawl out of; our amphibious nature prevents us from straying too far from the muck. We dive even further into it during Lupercalia season, probing for new undercurrents and fresh gouts of color, searching the slippery crevices between stones for the source of that beastly nature which is never fully dormant and guides our hands (sometimes roughly, sometimes gently) all year long.

Searching is finding. A grasping hand is its own prayer, an artistic statement in itself. A solitary sigh is still part of humankind’s collective song, and the sighs of two or more lovers are its chorus. The parts of us that sprout into full view are just a tiny part of the tale; to get the whole story, one must dig deeper and nestle among the swollen roots.

Historically Lupercalia is a celebration of lustful, drunken madness. You’ll find plenty of the usual examples among this season’s collection, but it can take surprising forms. The HEART BEET scent which provided a visual centerpiece for the launch presents vitally organic forms which are anything but bloodless; the relative chastity of treats like PISTACHIO AMBROSIA belie an erotic arrogance. And of course, our annual exploration of historical Shunga artworks is unparalleled in its frankness while still making a case for the simplicity and innocence of desire — perhaps our most natural state.

So climb into the well with us, or mash yourself against the earth and join us for a lovely slither among the stalks and tubers. Latch greedily onto whatever sparkles, and if a spirit takes hold of you, perhaps you’ll be moved to grasp it right back. In the memorable words of Tom Robbins: “Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.”

  • Box of Chocolates 2024

    Box of Chocolates 2024

  • For Entertainment Purposes Only

    For Entertainment Purposes Only

  • Lupercalia 2024 Hair Gloss & Beard Oil

    Lupercalia 2024 Hair Gloss & Beard Oil

  • Our Lady of Pain 2024

    Our Lady of Pain 2024

  • The Amphibian's Lapidary

    The Amphibian's Lapidary

  • a twilight where virtues are vices

    A Twilight Where Virtues are Vice Perfume Oil

    In a twilight where virtues are vices,

    In thy chapels, unknown of the sun,

    To a tune that enthralls and entices,

    They were wed, and the twain were as one.

    For the tune from thine altar hath sounded

    Since God bade the world’s work begin,

    And the fume of thine incense abounded,

    To sweeten the sin.

     

    Honeysuckle, Moroccan jasmine, and opium smoke.

    Out of Stock
  • absurd suggestive card game

    Absurd Suggestive Card Game 2024 Perfume Oil

    When you need a change of pace from Strip Twister: lemon candies, orange suckers, and strawberry sugar.

    Out of Stock
  • chocolate musk
  • DARK CHOCOLATE, COFFEE BEAN, AND LABDANUM
  • DARK CHOCOLATE, VANILLA ABSOLUTE, BLACK PEPPER, AND BULGARIAN ROSE
  • dried is the blood of thy lover

    Dried is the Blood of Thy Lover Perfume Oil

    What broke off the garlands that girt you?

    What sundered you spirit and clay?

    Weak sins yet alive are as virtue

    To the strength of the sins of that day.

    For dried is the blood of thy lover,

    Ipsithilla, contracted the vein;

    Cry aloud, “Will he rise and recover,

    Our Lady of Pain?”

     

    Dragon’s blood resin, myrrh, red musk, vetiver, black clove, and cassia.

    Out of Stock
  • dubious ginseng formula

    Dubious Ginseng Formula 2024 Perfume Oil

    Results not guaranteed. Ginseng root, crushed ginger, damiana essence, cubeb berries, and horny goat weed accord.

    Out of Stock
  • edible g string

    Edible G-String 2024 Perfume Oil

    Snap! Snap! Sugar crystals and tart candies with a splash of red musk.

    Out of Stock
  • edible panties

    Edible Panties Perfume Oil

    Basically fruit roll-ups for your naughty bits: wild cherry and sugared up strawberry with hot pink peppercorn.

    Out of Stock
  • equestrienne

    Equestrienne Hair Gloss

    Blood red velvet, a crack of polished leather, rosewater, and brandy

    Illustration: vintage Moulin Rouge cabinet card.

    Out of Stock
  • FANCY PUPS

    Fancy Pups Beard Oil

    I am his Highness’ dog at Kew,

    Pray tell me sir, whose dog are you?

    ― Alexander Pope

     

    A genteel affair that presses against the constraints of common decency: tumescent black silk, pink sugared patent leather, rich tobacco leaf, sunrise papaya, and mango cream with crystalline trickles of clean pup sweat.

     

    Illustration by Maximiliano Pino

    Instagram: @jugodepapaya

    Patreon

    Out of Stock
  • FANCY PUPS

    Fancy Pups Perfume Oil

    I am his Highness’ dog at Kew,

    Pray tell me sir, whose dog are you?

    ― Alexander Pope

     

    A genteel affair that presses against the constraints of common decency: tumescent black silk, pink sugared patent leather, rich tobacco leaf, sunrise papaya, and mango cream with crystalline trickles of clean pup sweat.

     

    Illustration by Maximiliano Pino

    Instagram: @jugodepapaya

    Patreon

    Out of Stock
  • feed me and fill me with pleasure

    Feed Me and Fill Me With Pleasure Perfume Oil

    For my heart too springs up at the pressure,

    Mine eyelids too moisten and burn;

    Ah, feed me and fill me with pleasure,

    Ere pain come in turn.

     

    Black patchouli, honey, and thick vanilla amber.

    Out of Stock
  • Fierce midnights and famishing morrows

    Fierce Midnights and Famishing Morrows Perfume Oil

    Seven sorrows the priests give their Virgin;

    But thy sins, which are seventy times seven,

    Seven ages would fail thee to purge in,

    And then they would haunt thee in heaven:

    Fierce midnights and famishing morrows,

    And the loves that complete and control

    All the joys of the flesh, all the sorrows

    That wear out the soul.

     

    Black plum, wild lily, and tobacco.

    Out of Stock
  • forgive us our virtues, forgive us

    Forgive Us Our Virtues, Forgive Us Perfume Oil

    Who has known all the evil before us,

    Or the tyrannous secrets of time?

    Though we match not the dead men that bore us

    At a song, at a kiss, at a crime–

    Though the heathen outface and outlive us,

    And our lives and our longings are twain–

    Ah, forgive us our virtues, forgive us,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Pale frankincense, styrax, East African black patchouli, cinnamon leaf, rosewood, and palisander.

    Out of Stock
  • french tickler

    French Tickler Perfume Oil

    Spiked for your pleasure: protrusions of pomegranate and pink peppercorn.

    Out of Stock
  • GREEN MARASCHINO

    Green Maraschino Perfume Oil

    Unnaturally appealing, radiant with an unwholesome luster! Peppermint-laced preserved cherries soaking in thick lime syrup, dashed with a sliver of yuzu.

    Out of Stock
  • Hair loosened and soiled in mid orgies

    Hair Loosened and Soiled in Mid Orgies Perfume Oil

    All shrines that were Vestal are flameless,

    But the flame has not fallen from this;

    Though obscure be the god, and though nameless

    The eyes and the hair that we kiss;

    Low fires that love sits by and forges

    Fresh heads for his arrows and thine;

    Hair loosened and soiled in mid orgies

    With kisses and wine.

     

    White honey, warm musk, and ambrette seed.

    Out of Stock
  • HEART BEET

    Heart Beet Perfume Oil

    I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,
    If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.

     

    You will hardly know who I am or what I mean,
    But I shall be good health to you nevertheless,
    And filter and fibre your blood.

     

    Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
    Missing me one place search another,
    I stop somewhere waiting for you.

    ― Walt Whitman

     

    Raw, wet beets, pulsating blood musk, and raw wild ginger.

    Out of Stock
  • heart shaped hot tub

    Heart-Shaped Hot Tub Perfume Oil

    No jokes here: who wouldn’t love a heart-shaped hot tub? A bubbling vat of red musk, sweet red wine, benzoin, red oudh, and lush magnolia.

    Out of Stock
  • house of unquenchable fire

    House of Unquenchable Fire Perfume Oil

    O garment not golden but gilded,

    O garden where all men may dwell,

    O tower not of ivory, but builded

    By hands that reach heaven from hell;

    O mystical rose of the mire,

    O house not of gold but of gain,

    O house of unquenchable fire,

    Our Lady of Pain!

     

    Glittering amber, frankincense, neroli, vanilla silk, and champaca.

    Out of Stock
  • implacable beautiful tyrant

    Implacable Beautiful Tyrant Perfume Oil

    When, with flame all around him aspirant,

    Stood flushed, as a harp-player stands,

    The implacable beautiful tyrant,

    Rose-crowned, having death in his hands;

    And a sound as the sound of loud water

    Smote far through the flight of the fires,

    And mixed with the lightning of slaughter

    A thunder of lyres.

     

    Golden amber, frankincense, white ginger, and oudh.

    Out of Stock
  • In his hands all thy cruelties thrive

    In His Hands All Thy Cruelties Thrive Perfume Oil

    Thou shalt blind his bright eyes though he wrestle,

    Thou shalt chain his light limbs though he strive;

    In his lips all thy serpents shall nestle,

    In his hands all thy cruelties thrive.

    In the daytime thy voice shall go through him,

    In his dreams he shall feel thee and ache;

    Thou shalt kindle by night and subdue him

    Asleep and awake.

     

    Gleaming black vetiver, bay laurel, opoponax, hiba wood, Spanish moss, clove, and leather accord.

    Out of Stock
  • In the darkness they murmured and mingled

    In the Darkness They Murmured and Mingled Perfume Oil

    And they laughed, changing hands in the measure,

    And they mixed and made peace after strife;

    Pain melted in tears, and was pleasure;

    Death tingled with blood, and was life.

    Like lovers they melted and tingled,

    In the dusk of thine innermost fane;

    In the darkness they murmured and mingled,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Labdanum, black plum, black currant, violet, and champaca flower.

    Out of Stock
  • lips full of lust and of laughter

    Lips Full of Lust and Laughter Perfume Oil

    O lips full of lust and of laughter,

    Curled snakes that are fed from my breast,

    Bite hard, lest remembrance come after

    And press with new lips where you pressed.

     

    Red musk, wildflower honey, elemi, tangerine, and mint.

    Out of Stock
  • lithe and lascivious regret

    Lithe and Lascivious Regret Perfume Oil

    Thou wert fair in the fearless old fashion,

    And thy limbs are as melodies yet,

    And move to the music of passion

    With lithe and lascivious regret.

    What ailed us, O gods, to desert you

    For creeds that refuse and restrain?

    Come down and redeem us from virtue,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Blackberry hops, blackened raspberry gum, purple chypre, and myrrh.

    Out of Stock
  • madrigal

    Madrigal Perfume Oil

    Vous me baisez comme une soeur:

    Ces baisers sont pleins de douceur;

    Mais souffrez que je les condamne.

    Je ne suis qu’un mortel, ô[ô] nouvelle Diane,

    Pourquoi me traitez-vous ainsi qu’un Apollon?

    Je serai trop heureux du sort d’Endimion.

     

    You kiss me like a sister,

    Kisses filled with sweetness;

    Yet you must allow me to condemn them,

    For I’m only mortal, my Diane;

    Why treat me like Apollo great?

    I’d be so happy with Endymion’s fate.

    – Pauline de Simiane

    Sweet, sorrowful, doomed longing: somnambulic lavender, wild plum, Siamese benzoin, and sugared opium tar.

    Out of Stock
  • MELON CREAM CAKE

    Melon Cream Cake Perfume Oil

    Whipped cream squished between luscious layers of pale green sponge, topped with hunks of syrup-glazed honeydew.

    Out of Stock
  • o daughter of death and priapus

    O Daughter of Death and Priapus Perfume Oil

    They were purple of raiment and golden,

    Filled full of thee, fiery with wine,

    Thy lovers, in haunts unbeholden,

    In marvellous chambers of thine.

    They are fled, and their footprints escape us,

    Who appraise thee, adore, and abstain,

    O daughter of Death and Priapus,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Black opium, wild plum, cypress tar, Bulgarian rose, olibanum, black orchid, and tobacco.

    Out of Stock
  • Our Lady of Pain

    Our Lady of Pain Perfume Oil

    Cold eyelids that hide like a jewel

    Hard eyes that grow soft for an hour;

    The heavy white limbs, and the cruel

    Red mouth like a venomous flower;

    When these are gone by with their glories,

    What shall rest of thee then, what remain,

    O mystic and sombre Dolores,

    Our Lady of Pain?

     

    Sumatran patchouli, blood musk, white lavender, opium tar, and black orchid.

    Out of Stock
  • pink fuzzy handcuffs

    Pink Fuzzy Handcuffs 2024 Perfume Oil

    It’s not quite as fun when you lose the key. Pink cotton candy, candied rose, and vanilla sugar.

    Out of Stock
  • PISTACHIO AMBROSIA

    Pistachio Ambrosia Perfume Oil

    A whipped green dream, pale and pillowy with multicolored mini marshmallows, densely studded with bits of pineapple, mandarin, and shredded coconut.

    Out of Stock
  • poets hearts break so

    Poet’s Hearts Break So Perfume Oil

    Well, if my heart must break,

        Dear love, for your sake,

    It will break in music, I know;

        Poets’ hearts break so.

     

    But strange that I was not told,

        That the brain can hold

    In a tiny ivory cell

        God’s Heaven and Hell.

    – Oscar Wilde

    The shuddering beat of a poet’s heart ― filigree-fair, diaphanous: bourbon vanilla fougere, violet leaf, iris root, Italian bergamot, porcelain accord, and a trickle of red musk.

    Out of Stock
  • poppies

    Poppies Perfume Oil

    Lilies, lilies not for me,

    Flowers of the pure and saintly ―

    I have seen in holy places

    Where the incense rises faintly,

    And the priest the chalice raises,

    Lilies in the altar vases,

           Not for me.

     

    Leave untouched each garden tree,

    Kings and queens of flower-land.

    When the summer evening closes,

    Lovers may-be hand in hand

    There will seek for crimson roses,

    There will bind their wreaths and posies

           Merrily.

     

    From the corn-fields where we met

    Pluck me poppies white and red;

    Bind them round my weary brain,

    Strew them on my narrow bed,

    Numbing all the ache and pain. ―

    I shall sleep nor wake again,

           But forget.

    – Digby Mackworth Dolben 


    Crimson roses, poppies white and red.

    Out of Stock
  • quicken the soul through the blood

    Quicken the Soul Through the Blood Perfume Oil

    Thou shalt touch and make redder his roses

    With juice not of fruit nor of bud;

    When the sense in the spirit reposes,

    Thou shalt quicken the soul through the blood.

    Thine, thine the one grace we implore is,

    Who would live and not languish or feign,

    O sleepless and deadly Dolores,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Cacao, red patchouli, night-blooming jasmine, Roman chamomile, and white tea.

    Out of Stock
  • RHUBARB CUSTARD MUFFINS

    Rhubarb Custard Muffins Perfume Oil

    +This muffin bites back: tender chunks of tart rhubarb stalks spangled with oven-browned sugar crystals, nestled in a crown of golden cake generously marbled with jet-streams of warm custard.

    Out of Stock
  • roses marshmallows and afterglow

    Rose Petals, Marshmallows, and Afterglow Hair Gloss

    A sweet, sexy scent for when you want to get some, just finished getting some, or want to smell like you got some.

    Illustration by Thomas Rowlandson.

    Out of Stock
  • Roses Pearls and Amethysts

    Roses, Pearls, and Amethysts Perfume Oil

    White rose and hothouse orchids with honey musk, wild plum, black patchouli, and geranium.

    Out of Stock
  • Roses Pearls and Emerald

    Roses, Pearls, and Emeralds Perfume Oil

    Rose sap, gleaming ivy, orris root, sweet oakmoss, pine needle, lime rind, and juniper.

    Out of Stock
  • Roses Pearls and Onyx

    Roses, Pearls, and Onyx Perfume Oil

    Black roses, Pashmina oud, clove bud, opoponax, kyphi smoke, tobacco absolute, and orris butter.

    Out of Stock
  • Roses Pearls and Rubies

    Roses, Pearls, and Rubies Perfume Oil

    Rose petal incense, twinkling white musk, sensuous labdanum, rhubarb, dried strawberries, and red amber.

    Out of Stock
  • Roses Pearls and Sapphires

    Roses, Pearls, and Sapphires Perfume Oil

    Lavender rose petals, coconut husk, cerulean blue musk, agave, and blueberry resin.

    Out of Stock
  • RUBY CHOCOLATE, BLACKCURRANT, AND POMEGRANATE
  • RUBY CHOCOLATE, MARSHMALLOW, AND ROSE PETALS
  • sister death

    Sister Death Perfume Oil

    My sister Death! I pray thee come to me

    Of thy sweet charity,

    And be my nurse but for a little while;

    I will indeed lie still,

    And not detain thee long, when once is spread,

    Beneath the yew, my bed:

    I will not ask for lillies or for roses;

    But when the evening closes,

    Just take from any brook a single knot

    Of pale Forget-me-not,

    And lay them in my hand, until I wake,

    For his dear sake;

    (For should he ever pass and by me stand,

    He might understand ―)

    Then heal the passion and the fever

    With one cool kiss, for ever.

    – Digby Mackworth Dolben 

    Pale gilded lilies and roses in the labdanum shadow of a yew tree, a sprig of forget-me-not, the dwindling memory of a genteel cologne, and the honeyed breathlessness of a kiss.

    Out of Stock
  • smut

    Smut Perfume Oil

    We are the smuttiest. Three swarthy, smutty musks sweetened with sugar and woozy with dark booze notes.

    Out of Stock
  • the desire of thy furious embraces

    The Desire of Thy Furious Embraces Perfume Oil

    The desire of thy furious embraces

    Is more than the wisdom of years,

    On the blossom though blood lie in traces,

    Though the foliage be sodden with tears.

    For the lords in whose keeping the door is

    That opens on all who draw breath

    Gave the cypress to love, my Dolores,

    The myrtle to death.

     

    Cypress, honey myrtle, yew, peace lily, ivy, and black rose.

    Out of Stock
  • The froth of the serpents of pleasure

    The Froth of the Serpents of Pleasure Perfume Oil

    All thine the new wine of desire,

    The fruit of four lips as they clung

    Till the hair and the eyelids took fire,

    The foam of a serpentine tongue,

    The froth of the serpents of pleasure,

    More salt than the foam of the sea,

    Now felt as a flame, now at leisure

    As wine shed for me.

     

    Sweet red wine, oakmoss, ambergris accord, ylang ylang, and Spanish mandarin.

    Out of Stock
  • The lilies and languors of virtue

    The Lilies and Languors of Virtue Perfume Oil

    Could you hurt me, sweet lips, though I hurt you?
    Men touch them, and change in a trice
    The lilies and languors of virtue
    For the raptures and roses of vice;
    Those lie where thy foot on the floor is,
    These crown and caress thee and chain,
    O splendid and sterile Dolores,
                      Our Lady of Pain.

    Calla lilies and lily of the valley with white lilac, narcissus, osmanthus, asphodel, and Egyptian musk.

    Out of Stock
  • raptures and roses of vice

    The Raptures and Roses of Vice Perfume Oil

    Could you hurt me, sweet lips, though I hurt you?
    Men touch them, and change in a trice
    The lilies and languors of virtue
    For the raptures and roses of vice;
    Those lie where thy foot on the floor is,
    These crown and caress thee and chain,
    O splendid and sterile Dolores,
                      Our Lady of Pain.

    Red roses, heady Moroccan musk, cinnamon, lobelia, coconut flesh, magnolia blossoms, and tobacco tar.

    Out of Stock
  • THE SERPENT IN THE CARNATIONS

    The Serpent in the Carnations Perfume Oil

    Snake Oil-soaked carnation petals, spiked with a dash of clove and allspice.

    Out of Stock
  • THE SERPENT IN THE ROSES

    The Serpent in the Roses Perfume Oil

    Snake Oil dribbling across a cluster of amber-flecked, blackened rose petals.

    Out of Stock
  • the shrine where a sin is a prayer

    The Shrine Where Sin is a Prayer Perfume Oil

    I have passed from the outermost portal

    To the shrine where a sin is a prayer;

    What care though the service be mortal?

    O our Lady of Torture, what care?

    All thine the last wine that I pour is,

    The last in the chalice we drain,

    O fierce and luxurious Dolores,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Deep purple Syrah, calamus, myrrh smoke, hyssop, opoponax, bitter clove, burgundy pitch, opium poppy, and violet leaf.

    Out of Stock
  • the thirst of unbearable things

    The Thirst of Unbearable Things Perfume Oil

    By the hunger of change and emotion,

    By the thirst of unbearable things,

    By despair, the twin-born of devotion,

    By the pleasure that winces and stings,

    The delight that consumes the desire,

    The desire that outruns the delight,

    By the cruelty deaf as a fire

    And blind as the night…

     

    Lavender, white fig, and Atlas cedar.

    Out of Stock
  • the worm shall revive thee with kisses

    The Worm Shall Revive Thee with Kisses Perfume Oil

    But the worm shall revive thee with kisses;

    Thou shalt change and transmute as a god,

    As the rod to a serpent that hisses,

    As the serpent again to a rod.

    Thy life shall not cease though thou doff it;

    Thou shalt live until evil be slain,

    And good shall die first, said thy prophet,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    Bourbon vetiver, oakmoss, and pomegranate.

    Out of Stock
  • there yet shall be sorrows

    There Yet Shall Be Sorrows Perfume Oil

    In yesterday’s reach and to-morrow’s,

    Out of sight though they lie of to-day,

    There have been and there yet shall be sorrows

    That smite not and bite not in play.

    The life and the love thou despisest,

    These hurt us indeed, and in vain,

    O wise among women, and wisest,

    Our Lady of Pain.

     

    White sandalwood, black cypress, wormwood, creeping willow, and rue.

    Out of Stock
  • vibrating bed

    Vibrating Motel Bed Perfume Oil

    It’ll rattle your teeth more than it rattles your junk: fizzy champagne, orange blossom absolute, Italian bergamot, and dry vanilla.

    Out of Stock
  • VIDEO HEAD CLEANER

    Video Head Cleaner Perfume Oil

    “Perfume, not poppers!” Put it in Latin on our family crest. The contents of this 5ml apothecary bottle are certainly nothing illicit, no ma’am. Just a nice, relaxing olfactory swan dive into the abyss, under the barest pretense of home entertainment hygiene.

    (Please note: this perfume contains no actual video head cleaner. No alcohol, no acetone, no amyl nitrate, no xylene. It is an accord meant to mimic and celebrate the scent profile and tone of poppers without explicitly smelling like poppers or having a popper’iffic effect.)

    Out of Stock
  • When thy will stung the world into strife

    When Thy Will Stung the World into Strife Perfume Oil

    Dost thou dream, in a respite of slumber,
    In a lull of the fires of thy life,

    Of the days without name, without number,

    When thy will stung the world into strife;

    When, a goddess, the pulse of thy passion

    Smote kings as they revelled in Rome;

    And they hailed thee re-risen, O Thalassian,

    Foam-white, from the foam?

     

    Dragon’s blood resin, red ginger, bourbon geranium, thorny rosemary, red sandalwood, pink pepper, and green coffee bean.

    Out of Stock
  • WHITE CHOCOLATE AND TARO CREAM
  • WHITE CHOCOLATE, ORANGE BLOSSOM, SUGAR CRYSTALS, AND CHAMPAGNE
  • womb furie

    Womb Furie Hair Gloss

    In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or spleen; and it likewise is subject to falling downwards, and, in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights, also, in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and on the whole the womb is like an animal within an animal.

    – Aretaeus the Cappadocian

     

    Oh, that wily womb! Hippocrates and his followers considered the womb a mobile creature, causing mayhem as it writhed its way through a woman’s body. Sometimes this ornery organ, due to lack of sexual activity, would create conflicts within a woman’s system or would become blocked itself, causing anxiety, nervousness, water retention, and sleeplessness. With the assistance of doctors, nursemaids, hand tools, or, occasionally, self-manipulation, this vexing condition could be alleviated through hysterical paroxysms.

     

    Or, as we call it nowadays: orgasm.

     

    An itch that needs to be scratched: Snake Oil and three types of honey.

    Out of Stock
  • womb furie

    Womb Furie Perfume Oil

    In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or spleen; and it likewise is subject to falling downwards, and, in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights, also, in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and on the whole the womb is like an animal within an animal.

    – Aretaeus the Cappadocian

     

    Oh, that wily womb! Hippocrates and his followers considered the womb a mobile creature, causing mayhem as it writhed its way through a woman’s body. Sometimes this ornery organ, due to lack of sexual activity, would create conflicts within a woman’s system or would become blocked itself, causing anxiety, nervousness, water retention, and sleeplessness. With the assistance of doctors, nursemaids, hand tools, or, occasionally, self-manipulation, this vexing condition could be alleviated through hysterical paroxysms.

     

    Or, as we call it nowadays: orgasm.

     

    An itch that needs to be scratched: Snake Oil and three types of honey.

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