{"product_id":"oh-you-chestnut-perfume-oil","title":"Oh You Chestnut Perfume Oil","description":"\u003ch2 class=\"afterpay-paragraph\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOH YOU CHESTNUT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/oh-you-chestnut-NYE-2025-web.jpg?v=1772908752\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"woocommerce-product-details__short-description\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI’m honestly not sure if this is actually a New Year’s card, but for the sake of this project, let’s say it is. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour ancient ones are welcome?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I misunderstood the card when I first saw it, and my brain translated it to an invocation to the Great Old Ones, Outer Gods, Elder Gods, or Dreamlands’ Great Ones, so let’s run with that, too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis scent is no mere nut of hearth and harvest, but a squamous chestnut, born of ancient groves whose roots knot through strata older than memory, necrophagous and ravenous, sucking nutrients from long-buried carrion. A whiff of roasted shell, scorched coffee bean, and smoldering husk billowing in tenebrous clouds of nutty, cacodaemonical incense. Beneath this lies a resinous sweetness, dry and fungal, as though the chestnut had ripened not beneath familiar suns but under a swollen, unwholesome moon.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA paean to the dad jokes that the King in Yellow tells his kids, this chestnut’s warmth carries the faint echo of a pun told too many times and the comforting dread of knowing the punchline before it lands.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003clabel class=\"screen-reader-text\" for=\"quantity_69ac6bfe5050c\"\u003e\u003c\/label\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform class=\"cart\" action=\"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/shop\/new-years-eve-creepers-and-oddments-volume-3\/oh-you-chestnut-perfume-oil\/\" method=\"post\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e","brand":"A paean to the dad jokes that the King in Yellow tells his kids, this chestnut’s warmth carries the faint echo of a pun told too many times and the comforting dread of knowing the punchline before it lands.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46485349367964,"sku":"NewYears25-8","price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/7891\/8812\/files\/ohyouchestnut-NYE2025LABEL.jpg?v=1772908480","url":"https:\/\/blackphoenixalchemylab.com\/products\/oh-you-chestnut-perfume-oil","provider":"Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab","version":"1.0","type":"link"}