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  Roses, Pearls and Diamonds Perfume Oil

  The youngest, who was the very picture of her father for courtesy and sweetness of temper, was withal one of the most beautiful girls ever seen. As people naturally love their own likeness, this mother even doted on her eldest daughter and at the same time had a horrible aversion for the youngest–she made her eat in the kitchen and work continually.

  Among other things, this poor child was forced twice a day to draw water above a mile and a-half off the house, and bring home a pitcher full of it. One day, as she was at this fountain, there came to her a poor woman, who begged of her to let her drink. 

  “Oh! ay, with all my heart, Goody,” said this pretty little girl; and rinsing immediately the pitcher, she took up some water from the clearest place of the fountain, and gave it to her, holding up the pitcher all the while, that she might drink the easier. 

  The good woman, having drunk, said to her: 

  You are so very pretty, my dear, so good and so mannerly, that I cannot help giving you a gift.” For this was a fairy, who had taken the form of a poor country woman, to see how far the civility and good manners of this pretty girl would go. “I will give you for a gift,” continued the Fairy, “that, at every word you speak, there shall come out of your mouth either a flower or a jewel.” 

  When this pretty girl came home her mother scolded her for staying so long at the fountain. 

  “I beg your pardon, mamma,” said the poor girl, “for not making more haste.” 

  And in speaking these words there came out of her mouth two roses, two pearls, and two diamonds.

  Red roses, dazzling crystalline musks, and pearlescent coconut-tinged orris.

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  Sustained Boos Perfume Oil

  Trump attended Game 5 of the World Series, and when he was announced on the public address system after the third inning, the crowd surged into a “sustained booing” that hit almost 100 decibels.

  Both the living and the dead are offended by this administration’s cruelty and perfidy.

  This scent is both ethereal and heavy; it is a booming roar of derision, a howl of resistance echoing into the darkness: a chilly aldehyde with blackened clove and coffee bean, black sandalwood, nutmeg, nag champa, white amber, and benzoin.

  Proceeds from the sale of this scent benefit the ACLU. Art by Drew Rausch!

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  Spider Perfume Oil

  There was a family resemblance between the two men. That was unarguable, although that alone did not explain the intense feeling of familiarity that Fat Charlie felt on seeing Spider. His brother looked like Fat Charlie wished he looked in his mind…Spider was taller, and leaner, and cooler. He was wearing a black-and-scarlet leather jacket, and black leather leggings, and he looked at home in them…There was something larger-than-life about him: simply being on the other side of the table to this man made Fat Charlie feel awkward and badly consructed, and slightly foolish. It wasn’t the clothes Spider wore, but the knowledge that if Fat Charlie put them on he would look as if he were wearing some kind of unconvincing drag. It wasn’t the way Spider smiled–casually, delightedly–but Fat Charlies’s cold, incontrovertible certainty that he himself could practice smiling in front of a mirror from now until the end of time and never manage a single smile one half so charming, so cocky, or so twinklingly debonair.

  White ginger, artemesia, vetiver, nutmeg, King mandarin, bergamot, and lime.

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  Teasing Perfume Oil

  Albert Ranney Chewett

  In which the fate of one’s entire garment rests on a stray flick of a feather: mallow flower, peppermint cream, blue lilac, bourbon vanilla, benzoin, English roses, teakwood, and nutmeg.

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