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  Arcus Aortae Pefume Oil

  Ascending and descending: a cascade of white lily and osmanthus with flutters of red musk.

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  Raccoon Moon Perfume Oil

  Many years ago, Ted and I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It was incredibly disconcerting; the tread was heavy and even, and it sounded just like a full-grown man was walking on our roof. Ted grabbed our officially-licensed Shaun of the Dead cricket bat, I grabbed a flashlight, and we tried to figure out if someone was breaking into our house. We couldn’t find anything, so we went to check the attic. I’ll tell you…opening up your pitch black attic in the middle of a pitch black night armed with only a cricket bat and a Maglite is some serious horror movie shit. Few things test your mettle like realizing you’re absolutely /not/ the Final Girl in a slasher film because you’re creeping through an attic at midnight while investigating strange sounds. Anyway, the thuds and thumps kept happening, and eventually we figured out that raccoons were humping on our roof.

  Every year since, raccoons have consistently found the atmosphere on our roof conducive to romance.

  Now, I’ve been trying and trying to write something profound and poetic to describe this scent, but this really is a perfume about raccoons schtupping. For the bulk of the US, February is the harbinger of Raccoon Sexytimes, and for the next month my whole family will get woken up by the thumps and squeals of frantically lusty raccoons using our roof as a No Tell Motel.

  Bring out the amorous trash panda in you: a winter’s backdrop of slush, snow-covered evergreens, juniper, and winter gardenia with sweet brown musk, rooty patchouli, spicy birch, hay absolute, osmanthus, and a pile of uprooted pansies.

  The accompanying Lunacy Tee can be found here! Art by the inimitable Dan Santat!

  Out of Stock
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  Come, Sister Perfume Oil

  Then they began to materialise till-if God have not take away my reason, for I saw it through my eyes-there were before me in actual flesh the same three women that Jonathan saw in the room, when they would have kissed his throat. I knew the swaying round forms, the bright hard eyes, the white teeth, the ruddy colour, the voluptuous lips. They smiled ever at poor dear Madam Mina; and as their laugh came through the silence of the night, they twined their arms and pointed to her, and said in those so sweet tingling tones that Jonathan said were of the intolerable sweetness of the water-glasses:-

  “Come, sister. Come to us. Come! Come!”

  Icy musk draped in osmanthus and white gardenia, a whisper of ti leaf and orchid, crystalline amber, and incense smoke.

  Out of Stock
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  Sanctus Perfume Oil

  The Sanctus are considered by some pious vampires to be the saints of their kind, and from what we have gleaned, they are very likely the stuff of myth. These vampires are paragons that possess impossible, phenomenal powers that defy known physics, including the ability to shift shape, turn into a gaseous form, and command other vampires through will alone. The mythological Sanctus are venerated by some, but we have no evidence whatsoever that they truly exist.

  Diabolically otherworldly: golden osmanthus, lily of the valley, celestial musk, and frankincense.

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