Lupercalia Single Note: Latex
With a hint of French chalk to ensure your catsuit goes on without a hitch.
Alternative Facts5 out of 5Add to cart
The truth hurts — so why tell it? Muffle the blow with Alternative Facts.
FACT: Following White House advisor Kellyanne Conway’s January 22 appearance on “Meet The Press,” sales of George Orwell’s 1984 skyrocketed, making it the fifth-best selling book on Amazon.com.
ALTERNATIVE FACT: In under a week, President Trump’s administration has already managed to improve literacy, reflecting the public’s renewed interest in privatized education, as well as its rejection of the mainstream media in favor of more “traditional” forms of information-gathering.
See how easy that is? With the help of Alternative Facts, even the most unpalatable among us can preside over a gallery of glittering, candy-coated delusions — one in which reality itself conforms to our beliefs, sincerely-held or otherwise.
ALTERNATIVE FACTS: If you truly want to obfuscate what you really smell like, this is the scent for you! Sugar-crusted vanilla, a firecracker-blast of cherry and sour lemon, a hint of scuttling spiders, encroaching fog, and trumpets of bombast, bluff, and bluster.
Like its companion scent Fake News, proceeds from Alternative Facts will benefit the ACLU.
Seven Word Story: WrathAdd to cart
The subject of our latest #BPAL7wordstory contest was WRATH. The winning entry was submitted by Miss Paulette:
The poison worked slowly, to her delight.
Bitter almond swirled into black patchouli, with red amber, rum absolute, and lemon peel.
Fire Cock4 out of 5Add to cart
A new year’s blessing! Peony, China’s national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, orange for happiness, lychee for household peace, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat for prosperity, King mandarin for good fortune, cypress for longevity, sticky rice cakes for abundance and hopes for a rich, sweet life, and a splash of blazing red of dragon’s blood to help you scare away the rampaging Nian.
Artwork by Aristotle Pramagioulis!
Seven Word Story: SlothAdd to cart
As Baudelaire once wrote, “We revel in the laxness of the path we take.” As such, we weren’t convinced anyone would bother entering the Sloth edition of our #BPAL7wordstory contest.
Somehow, hundreds of you summoned the strength to string seven words together — plus the dozens who cheekily declined to muster more than six. The winning entry by Amy DeNies epitomizes that (lack of) effort with aplomb.
Congrats to our winner, and keep those heavy eyelids propped open — #BPAL7wordstory could strike again at any time.
can’t commit to finishing a whole banana
The effort is too much: banana weighed down by blackened cacao, bourbon vetiver, and tobacco absolute.