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  Isaac, The Living Skeleton Perfume Oil

  To your side, you hear a man’s deep whisper, “Slowly I turned… inch by inch… step by step….” A scream interrupts him, and a roar of laughter pulses through the shadowed hall. Following the commotion, you move to the next stage. A bone-thin man moves across the stage, and sits upon an overstuffed, threadbare armchair. A battered violin is propped against the chair’s side. The audience starts to dissipate, and you realize that you must have just missed his performance. Relaxing, he reclines lazily, and as the light falls on his face, you come to realize that he is truly skeletal: a thin membrane of skin covers most of his body, but in many places, bone is completely exposed. He winks at you, and chuckles at your obvious discomfiture. The sweet smoke from his cigar touches your senses, and you hear the soft clink of the ice as he swirls the bourbon in his tumbler.

  “Late for the show, are ya, friend? I’ll tell you a quick one, and then you’d best skedaddle. I have better things to do than sit here and be gawked at all night.” He takes a swig from his tumbler.

  “A man goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says, ‘I think you’re crazy.’ The man says, ‘I want a second opinion.’ The psychiatrist shrugs and says, ‘Alright, you’re ugly, too.’”

  His attention is diverted by a scantily clad woman in the audience beside you, and he leers at her. “Hello, nurse!” he growls, and leans towards her lecherously. “How’s about you come back to my dressing room, and I show you my stamp collection?”

  Bourbon, black tobacco tar, dry bone, bay rum aftershave, and sleazy cologne.

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  BPAL Stoneware Mug

  A hefty honkin’ mug for your morning coffee! (Or evening coffee, or tea. Or beer or mead or grape juice or whatever. We’re not here to police your beverages.) These beasts stand 4.375″ (ish) tall, are emblazoned with the BPAL Triple Dagger Logo, and hold roughly 12 ounces of liquid refreshment.
  
  [Each mug is handmade and unique, so the glaze, exact coloring, and exact volume capacity will vary slightly from piece to piece. They are all speckled orange and brownish-black, but the brownish-blackishness, speckle levels, and orange shade vary from piece to piece. Lead-free and dishwasher, microwave, and oven safe.]

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• 

  Please Scream

  Fuel and fire for speaking out against injustice: a heap of warm spiced funnel cakes with a scoop of coffee ice cream.

  Proceeds from this scent will be donated to the American Civil Liberties Union. To learn about how the ACLU will be challenging Trump’s agendas in court, visit them here.

  Art by Ashton Hansen!

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  Vicomte de Valmont Perfume Oil

   I promised her my eternal love, and I actually thought that for a couple of hours. 

  Rake, scoundrel, demon in a frock coat. Devilishly seductive, ultimately tragic; a villain undone and redeemed by love. Based on an 18th century gentlemen’s cologne: ambergris, white musk, white sandalwood, Spanish Moss, orange blossom, three mints, jasmine, rose geranium and a spike of rosemary.

  Select Options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page