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  Shells Perfume Oil

  Bartolomeo Bimbi

  Crushed pearls, shimmering birch, and pink abalone draped in a thick, velvet mantle of russet musk, peru balsam, tonka bean, labdanum, and oud.

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  Incubus Perfume Oil

  As if, with beasts’ eyes, angels led
  The way, I slip back to your bed,
  Quiet as a hooded light,
  Hushed by the shadows of the night.

  And then, my dark one, you shall soon
  Embrace the cold beams of the moon,
  Around a fresh grave, the chilling hiss
  Of serpent coiled shall be my kiss.

  When morning shows his livid face
  Your bed shall feel my empty place,
  As cold as death, till fall of night.

  Others take tenderness to wife:
  Dread gives away your youth and life
  To me, to be bride of fright.

  Spectral white musk and the heart-stopping chill of sheared mint, fanned by caramel-touched body heat, and the diabolical sensuality of black musk, nicotiana, and sage.

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  Vespillo Perfume Oil

  The Vespillo are dedicated to assisting newly infected vampires in understanding and accepting their condition and learning to live with the challenges that vampires face. Vespillo, like the Transeo, tend to become members of vampire-acceptance movements, pushing for a wider understanding of vampires among the human population.

  A grounded, earthy scent, evocative of the soul’s finer qualities: patchouli, clove, neroli, night-blooming jasmine, sage, and iris.

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  Aristotle Beard Oil

  ARISTOTLE of Stagira (384 BCE – 322 BCE)

  His Poetica saved the cat 23 centuries before the first screenwriting how-to book.

  The history of Western logic begins with his Organon.

  Aristotle studied under Plato, who studied under Socrates, and this ancient Greek beardy trinity became known as the “fathers of Western philosophy.”

  The founder of the Peripatetic school (named for his custom of walking as he lectured), Aristotle systematically examined human endeavor and the natural world. Though some of his ideas were just plain inaccurate, he not only invented an early version of the scientific method, he was first to categorize similar living things by group, and sorted his treatises by topic (ethics, semantics, economics, politics, religion, zoology, biology, physics) substantially as we study and practice the arts and sciences today.

  Aristotle’s writing blew away contemporaries; yet of 200 works, all that remain are a few dozen crummy sets of lecture notes and compilations by students and students of students.

  We may have lost his legendary eloquence, but even the literary shadows of his original compositions illuminate our thinking a couple of thousand years later.

  If you are the type who likes to stroke your beard and think or to pace and stroke your beard and think, or to pace and stroke your chin and think – for do we have incontrovertible proof he had a beard? – Aristotle will give you something to think… about your beard.

  Gentlemen, see Historia Animalium, Book III, Ch. 11:

  In some cases among men the upper lip and the chin is thickly covered with hair, and in other cases these parts are smooth and the cheeks are hairy; and, by the way, smooth-chinned men are less inclined than bearded men to baldness.

  Ladies, see Historia Animalium, Book III, Ch. 11, a few paragraphs earlier:

  Women do not grow hairs on the chin; except that a scanty beard grows on some women after the monthly courses have stopped; and similar phenomenon is observed at times in priestesses in Caria, but these cases are looked upon as portentous with regard to coming events.

  Thinking about starting an argument? If you’re not starting with Aristotle, maybe you’re not doing it right.

  Oman frankincense, Greek sage, and white juniper.

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