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  Incubus Perfume Oil

  As if, with beasts’ eyes, angels led
  The way, I slip back to your bed,
  Quiet as a hooded light,
  Hushed by the shadows of the night.

  And then, my dark one, you shall soon
  Embrace the cold beams of the moon,
  Around a fresh grave, the chilling hiss
  Of serpent coiled shall be my kiss.

  When morning shows his livid face
  Your bed shall feel my empty place,
  As cold as death, till fall of night.

  Others take tenderness to wife:
  Dread gives away your youth and life
  To me, to be bride of fright.

  Spectral white musk and the heart-stopping chill of sheared mint, fanned by caramel-touched body heat, and the diabolical sensuality of black musk, nicotiana, and sage.

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  Lemon-Scented Sticky Bat Perfume Oil

  …last week Maddy woke me up early in the morning.

  “Daddy,” she said, “There’s a bat on the kitchen window.”

  “Grumphle,” I said and went back to sleep.

  Soon, she woke me up again. “I did a drawing of the bat on the kitchen window,” she said, and showed me her drawing. For a five year old she’s a very good artist. It was a schematic of the kitchen windows, showing a bat on one of the windows.

  “Very nice dear,” I said. Then I went back to sleep.

  When I went downstairs…

  We have, instead of dangling fly papers, transparent strips of gluey clear plastic, about six inches long and an inch high, stuck to the windows on the ground floor. When they accumulate enough flies, you peel them off the window and throw them away.

  There was a bat stuck to one. He was facing out into the room. “I think he’s dead,” said my assistant Lorraine.

  I peeled the plastic off the window. The bat hissed at me.

  “Nope,” I said. “He’s fine. Just stuck.”

  The question then became, how does one get a bat (skin and fur) off a fly-strip. Luckily, I bethought me of the Bram Stoker award. After the door had fallen off (see earler in this topic) I had bought some citrus solvent to take the old glue to reglue the door on.

  So I dripped citrus solvent onto the grumpy bat, edging him off the plastic with a twig, until a lemon-scented sticky bat crawled onto a newspaper. Which I put on the top of a high woodpile, and watched the bat crawl into the logs. With any luck he was as right as rain the following night…

  Sticky-sweet iced lemon sugar!

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  Juke Joint Perfume Oil

  A bawdy, gleefully wicked and unruly scent: Kentucky Bourbon, sugar and a sprig of mint.

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  Schrodinger’s Cat Perfume Oil

  One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following diabolical device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of one hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer which shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The first atomic decay would have poisoned it. The Psi function for the entire system would express this by having in it the living and the dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts. It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a “blurred model” for representing reality. In itself it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.

  A paradoxical scent experiment! – tangerine, sugared lime, pink grapefruit, oakmoss, lavender, zdravetz, and chocolate peppermint.

  No cats were mistreated during the formulation of this paradox, or in the process of creating this perfume.

  Select Options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page