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  ‘Tis the Voice of the Lobster Perfume Oil

  ‘Tis the voice of the Lobster: I heard him declare
  ‘You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.’
  As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
  Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.
  When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
  And will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark;
  But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
  His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.

  I passed by his garden and marked, with one eye,
  How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie:
  The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
  While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
  When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
  Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
  While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
  And concluded the banquet by —

  A woody, musky-weird base glooping over with blackberry preserves, a twist of mandarin, strawberry juice, pulverized watermelon, and a handful of smushed gardenia petals.

  Out of Stock This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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  Poisoned Apple Perfume Oil

  The queen stepped before her mirror:

  Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
  Who in this land is fairest of all?

  The mirror answered:

  You, my queen, are fair; it is true.
  But Little Snow-White with the seven dwarfs
  Is a thousand times fairer than you.

  When the queen heard this, she shook and trembled with anger, “Snow-White will die, if it costs me my life!” Then she went into her most secret room — no one else was allowed inside — and she made a poisoned, poisoned apple. From the outside it was red and beautiful, and anyone who saw it would want it. Then she disguised herself as a peasant woman, went to the dwarfs’ house and knocked on the door.

  Snow-White peeped out and said, “I’m not allowed to let anyone in. The dwarfs have forbidden it most severely.”

  “If you don’t want to, I can’t force you,” said the peasant woman. “I am selling these apples, and I will give you one to taste.”

  “No, I can’t accept anything. The dwarfs don’t want me to.”

  “If you are afraid, then I will cut the apple in two and eat half of it. Here, you eat the half with the beautiful red cheek!” Now the apple had been so artfully made that only the red half was poisoned. When Snow-White saw that the peasant woman was eating part of the apple, her desire for it grew stronger, so she finally let the woman hand her the other half through the window. She bit into it, but she barely had the bite in her mouth when she fell to the ground dead.

  The queen was happy, went home, and asked her mirror:

  Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
  Who in this land is fairest of all?

  And it answered:

  You, my queen, are fairest of all.

  A perfect, lovely, gleaming red apple whose sweetness masks a swirl of narcotic opium, oleander, and hemlock.

  Select Options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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  Pure Applesauce Perfume Oil

  King vs Burwell

  The Court claims that the Act must equate federal and state establishment of Exchanges when it defines a qualified individual as someone who (among other things) lives in the “State that established the Exchange,” 42 U.S.C. 18032(f)(1)(A). Otherwise, the Court says, there would be no qualified individuals on federal Exchanges, contradicting (for example) the provision requiring every Exchange to take the ” ‘interests of qualified individuals’ ” into accountwhen selecting health plans. Ante, at 11 (quoting 18031(e)(1)(b)). Pure applesauce.

  Our applesauce is decidedly impure: mashed apples with sugar and honey, slivered with tobacco tar and black tea.

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  Harvest Apple Soap

  Hay bales, squished apples, strips of apple peel, and a swig of scotch. This soap has been polished with bright shades of blush, crimson, and spring green.

  Out of Stock