Lemon

  • Absinthe

    Fall under the spell of our Green Fairy! An intoxicating blend containing wormwood essence, light mints, cardamom, anise, hyssop, and the barest hint of lemon.

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  • Absurd Suggestive Card Game

    When you need a change of pace from Strip Twister: lemon candies, orange suckers, and strawberry sugar.

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  • Alternative Facts

    The truth hurts — so why tell it? Muffle the blow with Alternative Facts.

    For example:

    FACT: Following White House advisor Kellyanne Conway’s January 22 appearance on “Meet The Press,” sales of George Orwell’s 1984 skyrocketed, making it the fifth-best selling book on Amazon.com.

    ALTERNATIVE FACT: In under a week, President Trump’s administration has already managed to improve literacy, reflecting the public’s renewed interest in privatized education, as well as its rejection of the mainstream media in favor of more “traditional” forms of information-gathering.

    See how easy that is? With the help of Alternative Facts, even the most unpalatable among us can preside over a gallery of glittering, candy-coated delusions — one in which reality itself conforms to our beliefs, sincerely-held or otherwise.

    ALTERNATIVE FACTS: If you truly want to obfuscate what you really smell like, this is the scent for you! Sugar-crusted vanilla, a firecracker-blast of cherry and sour lemon, a hint of scuttling spiders, encroaching fog, and trumpets of bombast, bluff, and bluster.

    Like its companion scent Fake News, proceeds from Alternative Facts will benefit the ACLU.

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  • Coral Snake

    Snake Oil with blood orange, blood apple, lemon peel, plumeria, and red gardenia.

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  • Cottonmouth

    Snake Oil with linden blossom, calla lily, passion flower, and narcissus.

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  • Embalming Fluid

    A light, pure scent: white musk, green tea, aloe and lemon.

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  • Fate’s Jester

    Speaking truth to kings, beggars, and popes alike, immune to retribution and lordly wrath as he flings wise quips like cream pies and barbed arrows.

    A motley tunic, festooned in bells: red currant and lemon peel over sugared patchouli and a bit of buttercream.

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  • Imp Pack: Citrus

    —Aelopile
    —Villain
    —Baobhan Sith
    —Cheshire Cat
    —Santa Eularia Des Riu
    —Xiuhtecuhtli

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  • Lemon-Scented Sticky Bat

    …last week Maddy woke me up early in the morning.

    “Daddy,” she said, “There’s a bat on the kitchen window.”

    “Grumphle,” I said and went back to sleep.

    Soon, she woke me up again. “I did a drawing of the bat on the kitchen window,” she said, and showed me her drawing. For a five year old she’s a very good artist. It was a schematic of the kitchen windows, showing a bat on one of the windows.

    “Very nice dear,” I said. Then I went back to sleep.

    When I went downstairs…

    We have, instead of dangling fly papers, transparent strips of gluey clear plastic, about six inches long and an inch high, stuck to the windows on the ground floor. When they accumulate enough flies, you peel them off the window and throw them away.

    There was a bat stuck to one. He was facing out into the room. “I think he’s dead,” said my assistant Lorraine.

    I peeled the plastic off the window. The bat hissed at me.

    “Nope,” I said. “He’s fine. Just stuck.”

    The question then became, how does one get a bat (skin and fur) off a fly-strip. Luckily, I bethought me of the Bram Stoker award. After the door had fallen off (see earler in this topic) I had bought some citrus solvent to take the old glue to reglue the door on.

    So I dripped citrus solvent onto the grumpy bat, edging him off the plastic with a twig, until a lemon-scented sticky bat crawled onto a newspaper. Which I put on the top of a high woodpile, and watched the bat crawl into the logs. With any luck he was as right as rain the following night…

    Sticky-sweet iced lemon sugar!

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  • Mincemeat Pie

    No minces were harmed in the making of this pie perfume.

    Figs, raisins, dried cherries, and suet accord (vegan-safe!) steeped in dark brown sugar, crystallized ginger, lemon and orange zest, nutmeg, allspice, and clove, embraced by an apple cider cornmeal crust.

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  • Morana

    Snow drifting on black pine, blood red apple, rosewood, osmanthus, and lemon peel.

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  • New Orleans

    Reminiscent of hothouse blooms on a humid night, ripe, but touched with decay. Sweet honeysuckle and jasmine with a hint of lemon and spice.

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  • Seven Word Story: Wrath

    The subject of our latest #BPAL7wordstory contest was WRATH. The winning entry was submitted by Miss Paulette:

    The poison worked slowly, to her delight.

    Bitter almond swirled into black patchouli, with red amber, rum absolute, and lemon peel.

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  • The Moon Goddess

    Virgin, huntress, witch, holding the mysteries and powers of womanhood between her palms: vetiver, white pine,  hay, Sicilian lemon, leather, and agarwood.

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  • Twelve Ways to Play a Musical Instrument

    Blue lilac, pink pepper, birch tar, juniper berry, and lemon peel.

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  • Zephyr

    A gentle white scent, breezes laced with the scent of springtime blooms and citrus. Lemon, lemon verbena, neroli, white musk, white florals, white sandalwood, China musk, bergamot and a drop of vanilla.

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