The Singularity
Los Angeles, 2019: Nearly two decades of BPAL scent names are fed to a neural network so the AI can look beyond the curve, forecasting the future of fragrance. The resulting collection goes online, offering bold vistas of a world in which human decision is removed from the creative process. The Lab’s status as Pythia of dystopian glamour is affirmed in perpetuity. Sales skyrocket at a non-Euclidian rate.
Going forward, consider all outcomes inevitable, and perfume yourself accordingly! The following overlord-approved blends may not be the future we envisioned… but it’s undeniably the one we deserve.
Art by Drew Rausch.
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A Dead Death Perfume Oil
Out of StockThe deadest death, most deadest of deadlies: sweet blackened patchouli, blackcurrant, cypress wood, and vetiver.
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Bayou Fluid Perfume Oil
Out of StockA boggy poot of hydrogen sulfide and carbon dioxide accord (but easy on the methane!) steaming up a marsh puddle of Spanish moss, creeping swamp jasmine, swamp creature hooch, osmanthus, tupelo, bald cypress, and mud.
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Black Putrescence Perfume Oil
Out of StockA vivacious squirt of decay: viscous blackcurrant juice and pomegranate rind with sweet labdanum, rose attar, and a thin splat of motor oil.
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Blood and the Lemon Perfume Oil
Out of StockI guess we talk about blood a lot in our copy? Coppery, bloody blood and a squirt of lemon.
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Blood for Cat Perfume Oil
Out of StockBad kitty: golden amber, black cherry, tonka bean, sweet red musk, dried mango pulp, rooibos tea, red currant, and bitter almond.
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Blood Twinkle Perfume Oil
Out of StockMildly maniacal: dragon’s blood resin sparkling with shiny pink grapefruit, purple lilac, honeysuckle, white musk, and bergamot.
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Cat Event Exorcist Perfume Oil
Out of StockGet thee behind me, kitty! Sleek, buttery brown musk, clove husk, frankincense, holy water, olive wood crucifixes, and hairball accord.
(Just kidding: no hairballs.)
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Demon Goggles Perfume Oil
Out of StockInfernal pacts always seem like a better idea after a few drinks: bourbon, sweet tobacco, brimstone, weed accord, and khus.
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Dreadful Snowglobe Perfume Oil
Out of StockA glopping blurp of viscera sloshing in a crystal sphere: creamy intraocular fluid, intestine-pink bois de rose and grapefruit, and coppery-clove blood musk encased in glassy transparent musk.
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Foolish Wooden Cucumber Perfume Oil
Out of StockWe won’t ask what you use it for. Polished oak, vanilla husk, and cucumber juice.
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Harlequin Milk Perfume Oil
Out of StockEthically harvested: goat’s milk, white honey, honeycomb, orange peel, red currant, a burp of honey ale, and a jingle of silvery musk.
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La Death Darkness Black Black Hats Perfume Oil
Out of StockThe darkest and deathiest of black black hats: inky grey cashmere, tobacco-stained leather, and a feathery plume of bay leaf, opoponax, and sandalwood.
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Masquerade Banana Perfume Oil
Out of StockBanana, but glamorous and mysterious, I guess? – banana with wild fig, sweet vetiver, myrrh, cassis, and a swoosh of incense.
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Melancholy Inferno Perfume Oil
Out of StockAn emo conflagration: tomato leaf, black pepper, coriander, burnt cedar, and crimson musk.
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Mother’s Hot Ghosts Perfume Oil
Out of StockGILF: billowing white agarwood, petitgrain, fossilized amber, and white musk.
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Rapture Pig Perfume Oil
Out of StockThe end is nigh: sweet pink musk, spun sugar, red currant, candied rose petals, and rose jelly.
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Scent Boom Perfume Oil
Out of StockA clamorous cacophony of obstreperous, rowdy smells: blood orange, lemon peel, sugar syrup, tangerine, pink peppercorn, tuberose, mango, melon, white tea, and gunpowder detonated by napalm accord and a bombastic, fiery scarlet musk.
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Sip of Glass Perfume Oil
Out of StockCheers! Shards of white musk and brittle white olibanum glinting with muguet, Riesling grapes, ambergris accord, and elemi.
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Squirting Shoggoth Perfume Oil
Out of StockCamming live from a basement somewhere in Arkham: pear juice, bloops of yuzu fruit, silty oakmoss, and glowing green musk.
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Street Mattress Atmosphere Spray
Out of Stock“Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?”
– Mart Crowley, The Boys in the Band (1968)
Spritz to imbue any resting place with the raffish charm and earthy mystique of a lost Twin, curbed Queen, or dethroned California King.
Dandelion sap, baby powder, ribgrass, spurge, and nutgrass squished into a poly cotton blend, poked by a rusty bonnell coil.
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Zombi Sassafras Perfume Oil
Out of StockThe sassiest shambling corpse in town. Grave dirt, sassafras root, sarsaparilla, clove, effervescent white ginger, and oakmoss. Smells a bit like undead rootbeer.