Limited Edition
LIMITED EDITION BLENDS
No imp’s ears are available for Limited Edition scents.
Presented in an amber apothecary glass vial.
Note: only 5ml bottles are offered in our limited edition scents. Please check the BPAL forum for stock updates. No samples can be requested for any limited edition scents, as they are not taken into consideration or assimilated into stock when the limited edition oils are made. Simply put: there are none to give. If you request a sample of a limited edition scent, we will swap for a random “permanent” scent.
LIMITED EDITION BLENDS
No imp’s ears are available for Limited Edition scents.
Presented in an amber apothecary glass vial.
Note: only 5ml bottles are offered in our limited edition scents. Please check the BPAL forum for stock updates. No samples can be requested for any limited edition scents, as they are not taken into consideration or assimilated into stock when the limited edition oils are made. Simply put: there are none to give. If you request a sample of a limited edition scent, we will swap for a random “permanent” scent.
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Fuck This Heat Perfume Oil
Add to cartWhat global warming? Slivers of ice to cool things down, lavender and hops flower to soothe the nerves.
Proceeds benefit getting the goddamn AC fixed in the front parlor at BPAL so Teddy and Claire don’t sweat to death and we don’t roast people alive at Lunacy.
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Please Scream Inside Your Heart Perfume Oil
Select Options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page -
Please Scream Inside Your Heart Sticker
Out of StockPlease do not stick these on or inside your heart.
Illustration by Drew Rausch for Black Phoenix!
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Please Scream Inside Your Snake Oil Perfume Oil
Add to cartTying in with our experimental work in fear: we have screamed into our Snake Oil… and we can’t stop sniffing ourselves! BPAL’s signature scent — deep, rich earthy notes swirled with vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices — has been polluted by the funnel cake frenzy that is our Please Scream Inside Your Heart perfume blend. The results are so comforting, we almost forgot why we started screaming in the first place. (Almost.)
Note: This product DOES NOT come with the limited edition sticker that was included with Please Scream Inside Your Heart. Just one more thing to scream about! (Elizabeth clearly has a possum bias. -Ed)
Label art by Drew Rausch!
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Schrödinger’s Checkmark Perfume Oil
Add to cartA hubristic statement fragrance that says: You are valid, you are official, you are VERIFIED… or are you? Guess you’ll have to shell out for it first, try it on, and then see how you feel (an experience that old-school indie fragrance fans are already well accustomed to).
Anyway, we haven’t market-tested this product or cleared it with any investors. We just rushed it into production with the intention of fine-tuning later based on reactions online. So… what do you think? Would you pay for it as-is? How about now, if we claim to have made subtle improvements? We definitely made them. Wait, come back!
The scent of questionable clout: airy, sticky marshmallow fluff, oily benzoin, and blackened, slick patchouli.
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Snake Oil: 2009 Vintage Perfume Oil
Out of StockBack in 2009, we bottled a hooch-jug of Snake Oil and put it aside in a cool, dark nook. We’ll be selling the fruits of our labor and patience in 100 bottle increments.
We will be making announcements prior to each hundred-bottle release.
By far, our most popular scent! Magnetic, mysterious, and exceedingly sexual in nature. Our signature scent, deep, rich earthy notes swirled with vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices.
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Snake Oil: 2014 Vintage Perfume Oil
Out of StockTwo years onward from our great cross-country move, we’re still opening boxes we forgot we’d packed, unearthing many oily treasures — for example, a hooch jug of Snake Oil bottled in 2014, aged to perfection in the temperature-controlled darkness of a West coast warehouse, and then an East coast one.
We’ve chosen to break up this limited quantity of bottles into smaller batches to be released gradually over time, in hopes that it will help more folks stand a chance of acquiring them; today’s is the first such release. Once our own private well of 2014 Snake Oil runs dry, that will be it forever!
Snake Oil: By far, our most popular scent! Magnetic, mysterious, and exceedingly sexual in nature. Our signature scent, deep, rich earthy notes swirled with vegetal musks, sugared vanilla bean, and dark spices.
Limited Edition - Lightning Strikes
These perfumes were created in collaboration with PS Publishing to celebrate the release of their new Electric Dreamhouse book The Bride of Frankenstein, a companion of collected writings exploring the history and legacy of the classic horror film. Edited by Emma Westwood, contributors to this book include: Jez Conolly, Jon Towlson, Sally Christie, Dr. Dan Golding, Dr. Eloise Ross, Scott Essman, Stephen A. Russell, Lee Gambin, Dr. Andrew Nette and Cerise Howard.
It also contains a biographical essay about Elsa Lanchester written by the Lab’s own T. Bloom, who helped nudge the actress’s out-of-print 1983 memoir back into publication.
The book is released this Halloween with a foreword by none other than Sara Karloff, and is available to pre-order now!
To honor the occasion, we’ve concocted three new variations on BPAL’s original LIGHTNING perfume oil to showcase how elements of Mary Shelley’s original vision have continued to evolve over time, illuminating imaginations around the world.
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Lightning Strikes Cinema Perfume Oil
Add to cartThe scent of sitting in a darkened theater in a rainstorm circa 1935, marveling at the alchemy that transforms scribbled words into specters of light, shadow, and sound: dripping umbrellas, a nicotine haze clinging to musty velvet curtains, camphorous vapors rising from strips of hot celluloid.
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Lightning Strikes Literature Perfume Oil
Add to cartThe incendiary moment when a human hand snatches fire from the gods of creativity and channels it onto the page: a lightning storm stirred with beeswax candle smoke, yellowing notebooks, and pools of India ink.
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Lightning Strikes the Future Perfume Oil
Add to cartIconic images that ripple through decades of culture and counter-culture, forming an exquisite corpse of horror, glamour, intellectual discourse, and feminist rage that rises to meet the challenges of humanity’s increasingly uncertain fate. The ultimate lab experiment: streaks of feral red musk twining in a double-helix around a pulsing, electrified core of fossilized amber, erupting from a glimmering pool of reactor coolant.
Limited Edition - Fire Down Below
A collection of sea chanteys, hauling and pulling shanties, sailor’s songs, and sea chants.
On Halloween 2007, Ted and I got married. Our wedding was pirate-themed: pirate invitations, pirate garb requested of all guests, pirate everything. The guy who designed and constructed our wedding clothes was one of the people from the costume department on the original Pirates of the Caribbean film (the perks of living in LA?); my wedding dress was loosely modeled on Tia Dalma’s outfit in At World’s End. I didn’t walk down the aisle to the Wedding March – the violinist played the song from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride for us while Brian – in privateer finery – escorted me to the altar. During our reception, there were nonstop pirate shanties, sailing songs, and nineteenth-century drinking songs on rotation.
Thirteen years later, I’ve got a tween that is tiktok obsessed, so of course I heard ALL about the resurgence of the sea chantey. I was saving these scents for our thirteenth anniversary – which was in 2020 – but we were drowning in pandemic horrors and the nightmare of creeping authoritarianism, so our anniversary was spent quietly and with too-little fanfare. Well, better late than never! Maybe I can talk Lilith into doing covers of some of these?
(Lilith, please – cover some of these as a favor to your ma, but maybe not the ones with the filthy lyrics til you’re a wee bit older. Actually, never mind. Let’s put a pin in this until you’re eighteen.)
Surely, the Sea Shanty (Chanty, Chantey) Renaissance is a sign of brighter times ahead! Happy (belated!) 13th Anniversary, Teddy!
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A Hundred Years Ago Perfume Oil
Add to cartWell a hundred years on the eastern shore
Oh yes, oh
Oh, a hundred years on the eastern shore
A hundred years agoWell its Bully John from Baltimore
Well I knew him well on the eastern shore
Well it’s Bully John’s the boy for me
He’s a buckle on land and a bully at sea
Well its been a long time and a very long time
Well its been a long time since I made this rhyme
Well my old mother she wrote to me
Me darling son come home from sea
Well I thought I heard the first mate cry
That bleeding top main sheave is dry
Well I thought I heard the old man say
Well it’s one more pull and then belayWell a hundred years on the eastern shore
Oh yes, oh
Oh, a hundred years on the eastern shore
A hundred years agoA woody, sea-crisp scent, sun-blasted and creaking: green vetiver and ocean mist with a blast of elemi, verbena, and wild bergamot.
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A-Rovin’ Perfume Oil
Add to cartIn Amsterdam there dwells a maid
Maid of AmsterdamIn Amsterdam there dwells a maid
Mark well what do I say
In Amsterdam there dwells a maid
And she is mistress of her tradeI’ll go no more a-rovin’ with you fair maid
A-roving, A-roving, since roving’s been my ruin
I’ll go no more a-roving with you fair maidA perfume for mistresses and masters of a very specific trade: sultry red musk, heady jasmine, tobacco leaf, red sandalwood, hay sugar, golden honey, sweet carnations, and warm leather.
Proceeds from the sale of this scent benefit Decriminalize Sex Work, a national organization pursuing a state-by-state strategy to end the prohibition of consensual adult prostitution in the United States. “We work with local organizations, advocates, and lobbyists to build community support and convince legislators to stop prostitution-related arrests. Evidence shows that decriminalizing sex work will help end human trafficking, improve public health, and promote community safety.”
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Asleep in the Deep Perfume Oil
Add to cartMany brave hearts are asleep in the deep so beware! Beware!
What of the storm when the night is o’er? There is no trace or sign!
Save where the wreckage hath strewn the shore, peaceful the sun doth shine.
But when the wild raging storm did cease, under the billows two hearts found peace.
No more to part, no more of pain, the bell may now toll its warning in vain.Loudly the bell in the old tower rings
Biding us list to the warning it brings.
Sailor take care! Sailor take care!
Danger is near thee, beware! Beware!
Beware! Beware!A hymn to all who sleep beneath the waves. Sailor beware! A lightless abyss of black plum, sea salt, opium tar accord, labdanum, and indigo benzoin.
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Boney Was a Warrior Perfume Oil
Add to cartBoney was a warrior
Way hey ya
A warrior a terrier
John FrancoisBoney fought the Russians
Way hey ya
The Russians and the Prussians
Jean FrancoisMoscow was a-blazing
Way hey ya
And Boney was a-raging
Jean FrancoisBoney went to Elba
Way hey ya
Boney he came back again
Jean FrancoisBoney went to Waterloo
Way hey ya
There he got his overthrow
Jean FrancoisThen they took him off again
Way hey ya
Aboard the Billy Ruffian
Jean FrancoisHe went to Saint Helena,
Way hey ya
There he was a prisoner,
Jean FrancoisBoney broke his heart and died
Way hey ya
Away in Saint Helena
Jean FrancoisA brief and succinct biography of Napoleon jumbled with the French shanty, Jean François de Nantes. Relevant to our shared interests: Napoleon was a fragrance connoisseur, and he kept a standing order with his perfumer for a delivery of fifty bottles per month.
A fresh, light Napoleonic-era cologne with hints of rosemary, almond, oakmoss, and jasmine.
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Good Ship Venus Perfume Oil
Add to cartThe third mate’s name was Morgan
By God he was a gorgon
From half past eight he played till late
Upon the captain’s organThe rest of the lyrics are too bawdy for me to post outside of a Lupercalia warning.
Salt-crusted wooden planks warmed by cardamom, 7-year aged patchouli, tonka bean, mace, and black pepper.
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Hanging Johnny Perfume Oil
Add to cartThey call me Hanging Johnny
Away, boys, away!
But I never hanged nobody
So hang, boys, hang!They says I hanged my graddy
And then I hanged my familyThey says I hanged my mother
It is they and my brotherI hanged a rotten liar
But I hanged a bloody friarThey tells I hang for money
But hanging’s so bloody funnyWe all will hang together
It’s all for better weatherI’d hang to make things jolly, I’d hang all wrong and folly, we all will hang together: hemp rope, red sandalwood, and white cedar.
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Haul on the Bowline Perfume Oil
Add to cartHaul on the bowlin’, the bully ship’s a-rolling,
Haul on the bowlin’, the bowlin’ haul!
Haul on the bowlin’, Kitty is me darlin’.
Haul on the bowlin’, Kitty comes from Liverpool.
Haul on the bowlin’, it’s a far cry to payday.A short-haul shanty for getting the job done. A thumping chant of patchouli, tobacco absolute, black cedar, and cocoa bean.
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Leave Her, Johnny Perfume Oil
Add to cartOh the times are hard and the wages low
Leave her, Johnny, leave her
Oh the times are hard and the wages low
And it’s time for us to leave her.Oh my old mother she wrote to me
‘My dear son, come home from sea.’It was rotten meat and weevilly bread
‘You’ll eat or starve,’ the Old Man said.I thought I heard the Old Man say
‘You can go ashore and collect your pay.’It’s time for us to say goodbye
For the old pierhead is drawing nigh.Leave her, Johnny, leave her
Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her
The voyage is done and the winds don’t blow
And it’s time for us to leave her.A sailor’s love song to her ship: Laotian oud, white cedarwood, sweet black patchouli, spiced rum, blackened fig, and coconut.
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Roll the Old Chariot Perfume Oil
Add to cartOh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh, a drop of Nelson’s blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll roll the golden chariot along!
So we’ll ro-o-oll the old chariot along!
An’ we’ll all hang on behind!It is said that after Horatio Nelson’s death at the Battle of Trafalgar, his body was preserved in a cask of rum (or in some tales, brandy) in order to preserve it for transport back to England. When the cask arrived, though, it was empty of spirits, and a hole in the cask was found where the sailors had been sucking the booze out with a straw.
Oak planks, iron, brandy, and spiced rum.
The remains of Vice-Admiral Nelson have been omitted from this fragrance.
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Row Bullies Row Perfume Oil
Add to cartThe boardinghouse masters came aboard in a trice
A shouting and a promising all that was nice
Til one old crib took a liking to me
Says he you’re a fool, lad, to follow the seaAnd it’s row, row bullies row
Says he there’s a job as is waiting for you
With lashings of liquor and beggar-all to do
Says he what you say lad, will you? – or two?
Says I you old bastard, I’m damned if I doAnd it’s row, row bullies row
But the best of intentions they never goes far
After thirty two days at the door of the bar
I tossed off me liquor and what do you think
That rotten old bastard had doctored me drinkAnd it’s row, row bullies row
Next I remember I woke in the morn
On a the three skysail yarder bound south round Cape Horn
With an old set of oilskins and two pair of socks
And an IOU nailed to the lid of my boxAnd it’s row, row bullies row
Honeyed rum, a whiff of almond, and a hint of something suspiciously soporific.
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The Wellerman Perfume Oil
Add to cartThere was a ship that put to sea,
And the name of the ship was the Billy at Tea
The wind came up, her bow dipped down,
Blow, my bully boys, blow.Soon may the Wellerman come
And bring us sugar and tea and rum.
One day, when the tonguin’ is done,
We’ll take our leave and go.She had not been two weeks from shore
When down on her a right whale bore.
The captain called all hands and swore
He’d take that whale in tow.Before the boat had hit the water
The whale’s tail came up and caught her.
All hands to the side, harpooned and fought her,
She dived down below.A line we dropped all in pursuit
She raised her tail, a last salute.
But the harpoon lodged there’s no dispute
She dived down below.For six long days and six long nights
She drove us south with all her might,
Until we were too tired to fight,
Then we let her go.The line was cut, the whale was freed;
The Captain’s mind was not on greed.
He belonged to the sailor’s creed
And he let that whale go.Sugar, tea, and rum.