LIMITED EDITION BLENDS
No imp’s ears are available for Limited Edition scents.
Presented in an amber apothecary glass vial.
Note: only 5ml bottles are offered in our limited edition scents. Please check the BPAL forum for stock updates. No samples can be requested for any limited edition scents, as they are not taken into consideration or assimilated into stock when the limited edition oils are made. Simply put: there are none to give. If you request a sample of a limited edition scent, we will swap for a random “permanent” scent.
A paean to sexy mall gag gifts and Valentine’s Day tropes! Scents by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, art by Drew Rausch!
Safety precaution: THESE ARE PERFUMES! The themes are jokes and are NOT to be used for sexytime. Do not drink, do not slather on your junk, do not use in lieu of lube, don’t spray on your pubes. Don’t do anything crazy with these; they’re perfumes.
“Seduce us in seven!” we demanded, promising the winning story would be enshrined in a Limited Edition fragrance. The response was overwhelming — and downright filthy. Over eight hundred entries later, Lust found its new champion. The winning story, submitted via Twitter by @GeekDame, took flight in our perfumer’s imagination and resulted in the following myth-tinged tryst.
Congrats to the winner, and keep your quills sharp! #BPAL7wordstory is only getting started.
He breathed smoke across her pomegranate-stained lips.
O happy posterity, who will not experience such abysmal woe and will look upon our testimony as a fable.
On the 20th of Mach, 1345, it is believed that a triple conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in Aquarius harbingered one of the most catastrophic pandemics in all of human history, resulting in the deaths of between 75 and 200 million people in Eurasia, and initiating a death culture that would last well into our time.
Austin Coppock – one of the most talented, eloquent astrologers of our age – shares his insight:
It is a contemporary conceit to believe that plague is no longer with us. The post WWII years saw the humans triumph over a host of age-old afflictions. Polio, whooping cough tuberculosis and more fell one-by-one to the scalpel of modern science. Yet these gains, taken for granted, grow smaller every year. Long slumbering diseases have been roused, and those which were scheduled for elimination have shown dogged resistance to humanity’s best efforts. Plague is thus not a thing of the past, but an everpresent horseman, keeping pace with human progress. Though we may have pulled into a small lead, we have by no means outrun this dark rider.
Those who came before us knew well that this rider was forever at their back, and thus lived in anticipation of his terrible arrival. It should thus be in no way shocking to find that astrologers throughout history have done their very best to predict the times at which the waves of pestilence would crash against our shore. In a report commissioned by King Phillip VI from the University of Paris’ Medical Faculty in 1348, the fault of the great plague was thought to lie in a rare conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in Aquarius which had occurred some years earlier, in 1345. The report pointed to the malefic nature of the Great Conjunction which had occurred those few years earlier, and how it augured a disease both swift and terrible. But Medical Faculty of the University of Paris had the benefit of hindsight, and their retrospective spared no one.
Several hundred years later, in 17th century England, lived an astrologer somewhat more prescient. William Lilly, the “English Merlin” wrote in his 1665 Almanac “Here is approaching great fatality unto mankind…there may be feared some dangerous mortality, or plague to be at hand, inflicting destruction.” Furthermore, he wrote of “a sickly summer…during June, July or August..” Accompanied by the macabre illustration seen below, Mr. Lilly’s prediction was more than satisfied, for a plague swept the city of London at the appointed time, claiming one in six of its inhabitants.
Though rarely regarded with much reverence, the configuration of the heavens still proclaims the coming of afflictions terrible and cruel. When in August of 2014, Mars the Lesser Malefic and Saturn the Greater Malefic made their conjunction in the tropical sign of the Scorpio, a plague of sanguine horror spread about the lands of western Africa— Ebola.
Yet the planets did not speak of these terrible genesis, but instead their climax. Perhaps it is not the dire conjunctions which bring about such sicknesses, but instead merely direct our awareness to them. The sinister red light of Mars and the dull grave dirt glow of Saturn may indeed only seem evil to us in that they serve to illuminate the work of the horseman forever at our side.
One must wonder, then, what the heavens of this year are trying to communicate, for Mars and Saturn spend an unusual amount of together in 2016. They flirt for all of April, and then separate, only to be joined bodily over the Summer. They will do so against the red backdrop of Antares- the Heart of the Scorpio. Three eyed, like the oni of Japanese folkore, one can only wonder what this trio of eyes sees in our spring and summer months.
The Plagues will be expanded with a study of the art and cultural impact of the Black Death this spring.
On doubtful wings flies the inconstant hour, nor does swift Fortuna pledge loyalty to any.
A paean to Fortuna, as we seek blessings to help us navigate the turbulent seas of the new year.
Approach strong Fortune, with propitious mind and rich abundance, to my pray’r inclin’d Placid, and gentle Trivia, mighty nam’d, imperial Dian, born of Pluto fam’d; Mankind’s unconquer’d, endless praise is thine, sepulch’ral, widely-wand’ring pow’r divine! In thee, our various mortal life is found, and some from thee hi copious wealth abound; While others mourn thy hand averse to bless, in all the bitterness of deep distress. Be present, Goddess, to thy vot’ry kind, and give abundance with benignant mind.
The Nobodies are New York City’s least favorite nightlife weirdos, a supergroup composed of Ariel Italic, Lady Bearica Andrews, and DJ Accident Report.
Thanks to their negligible income and short attention spans, you’ll find them hosting a plethora of different events, including RuPaul’s Drag Race viewings, dance parties, variety shows, and movie screenings. You may even have caught them working at BPAL’s booth at various conventions.
In addition to being nominated for a 2016 GLAM Award for Best Duo or Group, they have taken over as producers and hosts of the Slam Awards (the NYC nightlife equivalent of the Razzies, which has absolutely nothing to do with the WWE’s Slammy Awards).
As the main sponsor of their annual Mx. Nobody drag pageant (technically an un-pageant, which judges contestants of all genders on the basis of Newness, Outlook, Passion, and Eugh), Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is proud to participate in The Nobodies‘ ongoing experiments testing the limits of audience tolerance and plain old common decency.
Blessed few may have what it takes to be a real Nobody — but now anybody can smell like one.