Freak in the Sheets 2021

  • Black Satin Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Sleek, chic, très gothique! Nothing says “this party is strictly for adults” like a costume that renders the wearer virtually invisible to motorists. One can’t help but admire the black satin sheet ghost’s dedication to both Thanatos and Eros, having punched a person-shaped hole into the world and then leaving it to our imaginations to fill that billowing void. Most likely an inhuman presence, since only the most decadent or depraved individual would sacrifice such fancy linens to the party gods for a single night of prowling (alternately, if it’s a polyester imitation, they are masochistic to the core).

    Glimmering lacquered black patchouli drenched in mate, clary sage, narcissus, and opium tar.

    Out of Stock
  • Cognac-Stained Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Many believe that our ghostly form will bear traces of the experiences that marked us in life. As such, the sheet ghost you encounter at dawn may bear little resemblance to the pristine figure who set out to join the revel the night before. Drifting homeward, who wouldn’t be grateful for the concealment of a shroud, albeit one covered in evidence of the night’s debaucheries? Just make sure you don’t spark a cig anywhere near this bedraggled creature – important etiquette for all sheet ghost encounters, but especially if they happen to be soaked in spirits.

    Vanilla-infused balsam, white cognac, and tumbleweeds.

    Out of Stock
  • Floral Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Europeans went mad for imported chintz (from the Hindi word chint, meaning “spotted,” “speckled,” or “sprayed”) long before they figured out how to print these gay floral patterns themselves. As printing techniques became more refined worldwide, it was possible to sleep and dress in all floral everything. Soft as it may seem, the floral sheet ghost is a liberated figure with a camp sensibility, capable of bringing its own flowers to the funeral; its splotches of color conveniently hide all manner of embarrassments. Perfect for letting the world know you are living your best death!

    Strawberry-stained rose and peony with squished carnation and sugared pineapple.

    Out of Stock

    Paisley Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Inspired by shapes in nature, such as fruits, nuts, leaves, and trees, this lively pattern is Persian in origin, evolving over the centuries from a simpler floral design into a “boteh” or bush, gradually becoming the curved, teardrop-shaped element we’re familiar with today. A pattern with a rich and varied history, it only became popularized as “paisley” when shawl-makers in the town of Paisley, Scotland began copying the latest designs coming out of Kashmir.

    This worldliness (not to mention associations with the psychedelic movement of the 1960s) imparts a sense of bohemian sophistication to paisley sheet ghost encounters, leaving witnesses with many intriguing questions. For example: is that ectoplasm, or hash resin?

    Weedsmoke-infused white sandalwood, wild oakmoss, cannabis flower accord, hash resin accord, tonka bean, lavender bud, champaca flower, and tolu balsam.

    Please note: this perfume contains no THC, no cannabis, no mary jane, no doobage, no squidgy black, no nothin’. Get thee to a dispensary, go.

    Out of Stock
  • Sheet Ghost

    Traditional Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Immaculate. Economical. Institutional. The gold standard of the hospitality industry, a perfect blank canvas to color with our darkest dreams, our filthiest fantasies. The “little black dress” of the Halloween jetset, this holiday standard has become even more iconic with age thanks to innumerable film and TV appearances. Long may she wave!

    Cool white cotton, marshmallow fluff, and lemony Oman frankincense.

    Out of Stock