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    ‘Tis the Voice of the Lobster Perfume Oil

    ‘Tis the voice of the Lobster: I heard him declare
    ‘You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.’
    As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
    Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.
    When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
    And will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark;
    But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
    His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.

    I passed by his garden and marked, with one eye,
    How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie:
    The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
    While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
    When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
    Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
    While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
    And concluded the banquet by —

    A woody, musky-weird base glooping over with blackberry preserves, a twist of mandarin, strawberry juice, pulverized watermelon, and a handful of smushed gardenia petals.

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    Absurd Suggestive Card Game Perfume Oil

    When you need a change of pace from Strip Twister: lemon candies, orange suckers, and strawberry sugar.

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    Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel Perfume Oil

    Once the site of a guillotine that rolled the heads of thirty-five people during the Terror, now the site of a triumphal arch dedicated to Napoleon’s military victories of 1805.

    Also: my family is ridiculous.

    A sharpened blade, a pinch of snuff, a blast of gunpowder, and a pop of strawberry bubblegum.

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  • Beholder Optician Perfume Oil

    A clear, glassy scent, translucent and blushing, that will bring your world into sharp focus: eucalyptus leaf, white amber, pink bergamot, strawberry, and sheer, crystalline vanilla musk.

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  • Black Phoenix Academy for Wayward Ghouls Perfume Oil

    Lilith had to endure distance learning for all of 7th grade, but because we were working throughout the lockdown, Lilith ended up going to school a few days a week from home and a few days a week from the Lab. (A million thanks to Chrissy for letting Lilith turn her office into a makeshift classroom for months on end!) This photo is a pretty good example of what Lilith’s lunch breaks at BPAL looked like.

    A haze of strawberry musk and coconut-fluff fur.

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  • Blacklight Reactive Clown Poster Perfume Oil

    Does this perfume smell funny to you? Strawberry greasepaint, candyfloss, squished roses, and cannabis accord.

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  • Bon Vivant Perfume Oil

    An effervescent blend of crystalline champagne notes and sweet strawberry.

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  • Breakfast, or Something Perfume Oil

    Things started getting really weird around the house about three weeks into the shelter in place.

    Neon pink threads of guava cotton candy and strawberry milk.

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    Eat the Strawberries Perfume Oil

    Still, there was a tale he had read once, long ago, as a small boy: the story of a traveler who had slipped down a cliff, with man-eating tigers above him and a lethal fall below him, who managed to stop his fall halfway down the side of the cliff, holding on for dear life. There was a clump of strawberries beside him, and certain death above him and below. What should he do? went the question.

    And the reply was, Eat the strawberries.

    Strawberries, fresh-picked.

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  • Floral Sheet Ghost Perfume Oil

    Europeans went mad for imported chintz (from the Hindi word chint, meaning “spotted,” “speckled,” or “sprayed”) long before they figured out how to print these gay floral patterns themselves. As printing techniques became more refined worldwide, it was possible to sleep and dress in all floral everything. Soft as it may seem, the floral sheet ghost is a liberated figure with a camp sensibility, capable of bringing its own flowers to the funeral; its splotches of color conveniently hide all manner of embarrassments. Perfect for letting the world know you are living your best death!

    Strawberry-stained rose and peony with squished carnation and sugared pineapple.

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    Fortuna Liberum Perfume Oil

    The Fortunes of Children

    A hymn to the safety and freedom of children that they may prosper in health and wild joy: sweet vanilla tousled with orange blossom, blood orange peel, and a squirt of strawberry juice.

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  • Hollywood Babylon Perfume Oil

    The essence of innocence shattered: glittering Egyptian amber and heliotrope, infused with the sweetness of strawberry and vanilla – dragged into debauch by lusty red musk and a dribble of black cherry.

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    Humanitas Bath Oil

    Carnation, black cherry, wild strawberry, helichrysum, and frankincense.

    No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop

    8oz Bottle

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    Laura Perfume Oil

    There was something he wanted to say to Laura, and he was prepared to wait until he knew what it was. The world slowly began to lose light and color. Shadow’s feet were going numb, while his hands and face hurt from the cold. He burrowed his hands into his pockets for warmth, and his fingers closed about the gold coin.

    He walked over to the grave.

    “This is for you,” he said.

    Several shovels of earth had been emptied onto the casket, but the hole was far from full. He threw the gold coin into the grave with Laura, then he pushed more earth into the hole, to hide the coin from acquisitive grave diggers. He brushed the earth from his hands and said, “Good night, Laura.” Then he said, “I’m sorry.”

    Violets, upturned earth, mothballs, formaldehyde (mixed with glycerin and lanolin), and the memory of the taste of strawberry daiquiris suspended in twilight.

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  • Maenad Perfume Oil

    Orgiastic mayhem in the extreme: sweet strawberry and orange blossom distorted by carnation, black poppy and hibiscus.

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    Matthew 18:10 Perfume Oil

    See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

    Wool-warm red sandalwood, coconut, strawberry, and blackcurrant.

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    Mx. Nobody Perfume Oil

    Weed-smoke and lime-tinged vapors rising from a cauldron of green slime, suspended by cracked leather straps above the heads of an unsuspecting audience.

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    New Year’s Kitty Tea Party Perfume Oil

    All new year joys be yours.

    After all that we’ve all been through these past few years, we really, REALLY need a kitty tea party.

    Clotted cream and strawberry rhubarb jam scones, apricot and ginger panettone, saffron sticky buns, cinnamon sugar pecan rolls, and cups of steaming hot tea.

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    Nobodies Watching Wrestling Perfume Oil

    Who better to comment on the flips, throws, and visible panty-lines of the pro-wrestling world than a bunch of drag queens? The Nobodies' ongoing video series maps out this cultural terrain for anyone who might not have otherwise clocked the generous overlap between wrestling and drag.

    Black Leather and strawberry lip gloss

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    Peep Show Hair Gloss

    Neon strawberry, pink peppercorn, viscous white honey amber, and a smear of Brazilian vetiver.

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  • Pink & Blue Candy Canes Perfume Oil

    Each year, the organization Transanta gathers holiday wish lists from young trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people, setting them up with registries so that well-wishers online can provide everything they can’t count on from their family or community — including gender-affirming items which might otherwise elude them. You may more and/or donate directly here:

    You can view the wish lists here

    Here’s a soothing scent to counter the world’s harshness: the pillowy warmth of strawberry cotton candy, cooled with a gentle breath of blueberry vanilla mint.

    Proceeds from this scent will be donated to Transanta through their fiscal sponsor, Allies in Arts, a 501(c)3 non profit.

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  • pink moon

    Pink Moon Perfume Oil

    The name of this moon refers to the color of wild ground phlox, a primary component of this Lunacy Blend, which is one of the most widespread floral signposts of springtime in North America. This Lunar blend is soft with phlox, pink freesia, stargazer lily, tulip, daffodil, pink columbine, delphinium, pink carnation, peony, and muscari, dusted with pink sugar and honey, bourbon vanilla and a touch of the first strawberries of the season.

    Bitchin’ art by Drew Rausch!

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  • Rattlecans and Sliders

    Lilith has an interesting history with haunts. Ted and I were part of the Halloween crew at her elementary school for six years, Lilith assisted in terrorizing people in several mazes and haunts, and she wandered the mazes of several Midsummer Scream events. She’s wanted to go to one of the major amusement park haunts for ages, but she couldn’t get any of her friends to come with her. Last year, she finally went to Halloween Horror Nights with Kyle and Mika, and she was ecstatic.

    Strawberry soft serve, fog machine juice, and cake batter ice cream.

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    Sad Ted Behind the Wall Perfume Oil

    Ted: “The Berlin wall was a startling and scary reminder of how cruel humans can be. Beth and I sat near this piece of the wall trying to explain to Lilith that in this very spot, there was a wall that separated a country and families from each other. Lilith listened quietly to us and did not say a word. I hope she understood. To lighten the mood, I pretend to be on the wrong side of the wall.”

    Rain-splashed strawberries.

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    Strawberry Buttercream Sufganiyot Perfume Oil

    Deep-fried dough dusted with powdered sugar and filled with strawberry buttercream.

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    The Rights of Women Perfume Oil

    Yes, injured Woman! rise, assert thy right!
    Woman! too long degraded, scorned, opprest;
    O born to rule in partial Law’s despite,
    Resume thy native empire o’er the breast!

    Go forth arrayed in panoply divine;
    That angel pureness which admits no stain;
    Go, bid proud Man his boasted rule resign,
    And kiss the golden sceptre of thy reign.

    Go, gird thyself with grace; collect thy store
    Of bright artillery glancing from afar;
    Soft melting tones thy thundering cannon’s roar,
    Blushes and fears thy magazine of war.

    Thy rights are empire: urge no meaner claim, –
    Felt, not defined, and if debated, lost;
    Like sacred mysteries, which withheld from fame,
    Shunning discussion, are revered the most.

    Try all that wit and art suggest to bend
    Of thy imperial foe the stubborn knee;
    Make treacherous Man thy subject, not thy friend;
    Thou mayst command, but never canst be free.

    Awe the licentious, and restrain the rude;
    Soften the sullen, clear the cloudy brow:
    Be, more than princes’ gifts, thy favours sued; –
    She hazards all, who will the least allow.

    But hope not, courted idol of mankind,
    On this proud eminence secure to stay;
    Subduing and subdued, thou soon shalt find
    Thy coldness soften, and thy pride give way.

    Then, then, abandon each ambitious thought,
    Conquest or rule thy heart shall feebly move,
    In Nature’s school, by her soft maxims taught,
    That separate rights are lost in mutual love.

    – Anna Lætitia Barbauld

    Too long degraded, scorned, opprest: a bold, strident red chypre with sweet wild patchouli, bourbon vanilla, Tunisian neroli, tuberose, warm red currant, strawberry, and red labdanum.

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  • Ut Ameris, Amabilis Esto Perfume Oil

    A love oil built to foster kindness and serenity that enables you to better cultivate compassion, gentleness, and empathy while drawing forth the compassion, gentleness, and empathy of those around you. This oil soothes nerves, irritation, and anxiety, fosters peace, and sweetens friendships.


    This oil contains three rose absolutes, honey absolute, carnation, strawberry fruit compound, sweet orange, angelica root, motherwort, lavender bud, red sandalwood, and benzoin.

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